Sing Along!
by Moxie Thuringwethil
Summary: And 8 is... a musical tribute to Megatron. Really.
1. Devastator!

General Purpose Disclaimer for this and future installments:  
Hasbro, Takara, and probably a bunch of other corporations own the Transformers. I just like playing with them.  
.  
Devastator (Music: "Macarena", (c)1996 by Los del Rio)  
.  
.  
To the battle came a big bulldozer  
Followed by a crane and an excavator  
Then a dump truck, a cement mixer  
And in the rear, a front-end loader  
Autobots now, better halt now  
Or these six will form their gestalt now  
.  
What is that sound that all the Autobots are fearing?  
It is the very last thing that they all want to be hearing  
The sound of six Constructicons in unison all cheering  
"Yay, Devastator!"  
.  
Now don't you talk about those others,  
Those other gestalts who came later  
Ha! They're just pale shadows, every 'Con fan knows,  
Not even close, I mean... (spoken)  
Now, come on, you call those combiner teams?  
They didn't even bother to get matching paint jobs!  
.  
What is that sound that all the Autobots are fearing?  
It is the very last thing that they all want to be hearing  
The sound of six Constructicons in unison all cheering  
"Yay, Devastator!" 


	2. I Will Survive

"I Will Survive", v1.1 (as sung by Starscream)  
-------------  
.  
You'd think I'd be afraid, even petrified  
I've been shot not just by Autobots but my own side  
Just when I thought I had it made Galvatron came and did me wrong  
But I've grown strong and I've learned how to get along  
.  
Now I've come back  
From outer space  
Even the wrath of Unicron can't wipe the smirk off of my face  
The writers changed their minds you see  
They brought me back in Season 3  
I guess it didn't take them long to realize they needed me!  
.  
No more for me  
Eternal dark  
There is no weapon  
That can quench my immortal spark  
Death was only the beginning and I'll never say goodbye  
You think I'd crumple  
You think I'd break down and die  
Oh no not I  
I will survive  
As long as fans demand my presence I will stay alive  
I'll take some hard hits now and then  
And it might look like it's the end  
But I'll survive  
I will survive  
Hey, hey!  
.  
It's taken me some strength just to carry on  
Like when I flew alone from Earth on back to Cybertron  
Though I'd circled half the globe Skyfire was buried in the snow  
I had to go  
And start a new life all alone  
So I became  
A brand new me  
The finest product of the planet's War Academy  
So those movie writers thought one shot could blow me into bits  
Well, I'm the Tyrant of the Firmament, I'm not about to quit!  
.  
No more for me  
Eternal dark  
There is no weapon  
That can quench my immortal spark  
Death was only the beginning and I'll never say goodbye  
You think I'd crumple  
You think I'd break down and die  
Oh no not I  
I will survive  
As long as fans demand my presence I will stay alive  
I'll take some hard hits now and then  
And it might look like it's the end  
But I'll survive  
I will survive  
.  
No more for me  
Eternal dark  
There is no weapon  
That can quench my immortal spark  
Death was only the beginning and I'll never say goodbye  
You think I'd crumple  
You think I'd break down and die  
Oh no not I  
I will survive  
As long as fans demand my presence I will stay alive  
I'll take some hard hits now and then  
And it might look like it's the end  
But I'll survive  
I will survive  
I will survive!  
.  
---------------  
A/N: This was my first TF-related filk, written in response to Wayward's recently concluded "Bad Songfic Challenge." The original "I Will Survive" was (c)1979 or thereabouts by Gloria Gaynor; I figured the only thing that could be worse than Starscream trying to sing would be Starscream trying to sing disco. Alas, this ended up among the numerous also-rans in that challenge; nonetheless, I hope it amuses Transfans, whether you love the Screamer or love to hate him. :) And of course, thanks to all who've reviewed my filks here or elsewhere. 


	3. Lavender and Black

[Music: "Paint it Black", (c)1966 The Rolling Stones]  
.  
SKYWARP: Why do so many 'Cons wear lavender and black?  
Originality is very much a lack  
THUNDERCRACKER: You think you've got it bad, just look around and see  
Some days it seems that half the army looks like me!  
.  
TC: We thought we'd left this problem back on Cybertron  
When we flew out to this dumb rock with Megatron  
SW: But the first thing he did was power up some drones  
And paint them like a bunch of geeky slagging clones!  
.  
SW: Is it not bad enough we're all one body style?  
Are there no other paints within an astro-mile?  
TC: I counted six like me last time I took a peek  
Like losing to the Autobots, it happens every week  
.  
TC: Though stupid lookalikes fill half the universe  
I could foresee a situation even worse  
SW: Only one thing would be less welcome on our team  
We could be flying with a dozen of Starscream!  
.  
SW: Why do so many 'Cons wear lavender and black?  
Originality is very much a lack  
TC: You think you've got it bad, just look around and see  
Some days it seems that half the army looks like me!  
.  
(A horde of nameless Decepticon jets, all painted more or less like  
Skywarp and Thundercracker, begin circling and humming the melody.)  
.  
SW: Why don't you go paint yourselves pastel pink?  
TC: How 'bout green, or red, or bronze?  
SW: Magenta, yellow, brown, even some kind of plaid  
TC: Anything but blue and white  
SW: ...or lavender and black!  
TC: Yeah!  
.  
(They open fire on the still-humming nameless jets as the music fades.) 


	4. Where Everybody Drives Like Us

WHERE EVERYBODY DRIVES LIKE US (A Stunticon Tribute to Boston)  
[Music: "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" (Theme from TV show Cheers)  
(c) 1982? Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo]  
No actual Bostonians were harmed in the making of this filk. ;)  
.  
.  
STUNTICONS: Fighting our way through the world today  
Takes everything we've got  
Driving away from all our worries  
Sure does help a lot  
Sometimes we like to get away...  
.  
Drive all night into Boston's lights  
BREAKDOWN: Why do they stare at me?  
STUNTICONS: Wrong way up a one-way  
Then straight through a rotary  
WILDRIDER: And the humans here drive like that too!  
.  
STUNTICONS: We always love to go  
Where everybody drives like us  
MOTORMASTER: I just crashed straight through a bus  
Optimus Prime does not come here  
Mass. Ave. is no place for fear  
STUNTICONS: Boston's the place where everybody drives like us!  
.  
DEAD END: They've got through their heads, someday they'll be dead  
Why not drive really fast?  
DRAGSTRIP: So the humans try to race me  
Though they come in last  
BREAKDOWN: What do all those waving fingers mean?  
.  
STUNTICONS: It seems there's one place on the Earth  
Where everybody drives like us  
WILDRIDER: Trading paint's no cause for fuss  
STUNTICONS: We like to cruise down Storrow Drive  
Doin' one-eighty-five  
Boston's the place where everybody drives like us! 


	5. Astrotrain

(A scene from TF:TM, music: "Sloop John B" [traditional, popularized by The Beach Boys].)

* * *

Wounded Decepticons:  
We're flying on Astrotrain  
We're in a lot of pain  
As through outer space we all roam  
We barely won  
That fight was no fun  
Well, we're all half broke up  
We wanna go home  
  
Starscream (Other 'Cons on backing vocals):  
We've got to throw out some weight  
Astrotrain says he can't  
Carry so many at once  
All the way home (all the way home)  
Everyone:  
We wanna go home  
We wanna go home, yeah yeah  
Astrotrain:  
If you don't do something  
We'll never get home.  
  
Constructicons:  
The wounded can't fight so  
They should be the first to go  
Out through the cargo bay doors we'll throw them away  
Into the void  
Who cares if they get annoyed? (yeah yeah)  
They're all too broke up to be worth bringin' home.  
  
Starscream (Other 'Cons on backing vocals):  
We've got to throw out some weight (got to throw out some)  
Astrotrain says he can't (Astrotrain says he can't)  
Carry so many at once  
All the way home (all the way home)  
Everyone:  
Let's all go home (let's all go home)  
We all just wanna go home (Astrotrain says that)  
Starscream:  
Astrotrain says  
Astrotrain:  
If you don't do something  
We'll never get home.  
  
Starscream:  
How it pains me to do this  
Your leadership we will miss  
But now it's time to say bye-bye, Megatron  
Here you can float -  
And all by popular vote!  
This is the last trip you'll ever go on.  
  
Starscream (Other 'Cons on backing vocals):  
We've got to throw out some weight  
Astrotrain says he can't  
Carry so many at once  
All the way home (all the way home)  
Everyone:  
We wanna go home  
We wanna go home, yeah yeah  
Astrotrain:  
If you don't do something  
We'll never get home. 


	6. Second Thoughts

**Second Thoughts**

_Music: "What You Waiting For," (c)2004 by Gwen Stefani_

_Vocals: Dr. Archeville, just before attempting to sabotage the console in "Countdown to Extinction"_

I have betrayed the Earth  
And humanity  
These robots plan to leave  
Not a thing for me

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock  
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock  
Starscream's timer's ticking down

All my life I've been scorned by my fellow man  
No one appreciates a genius scientist these days  
Oh, they all said I was a madman  
I should rule the Earth but I can't do it alone  
So when I met Decepticons I figured I could make a deal -  
I'd help them if they helped me

Oh, but now...

I'm having second, having second, having second, having second, having second thoughts  
I'm having second, having second, having second, having second, having second thoughts

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock  
Starscream's timer's ticking down

Hypno-chips were working all according to plan  
But they built a controller of their own on Cybertron  
Megatron had double-crossed me  
Made use of my invention, left the humans to die  
When Starscream came to get me what was I supposed to do? (I thought)  
Here's the chance I'm looking for (uh-huh)

No, oh no...

Despite my intention  
He took my greatest invention  
My exponential generator  
Connected to a detonator

I'm having second, having second, having second, having second, having second thoughts  
I'm having second, having second, having second, having second, having second thoughts

Starscream brought me along to Cybertron  
That's one honor I don't need  
From here I cannot stop it - now the Earth is doomed  
Starscream's timer's ticking down

No...

Despite my intention  
He took my greatest invention  
My exponential generator  
Connected to a detonator

I'm having second, having second, having second, having second, having second thoughts  
I'm having second, having second, having second, having second, having second thoughts

Having second thoughts, having second thoughts

(Having second thoughts)  
Starscream's timer's ticking down  
Starscream's timer's ticking down

_(Repeat to fade)_


	7. Paint Each Other Green

_Music: "**It's Not That Easy Being Green**", (c) 1970 Jonco Music, Inc.  
(popularized by Kermit The Frog)_

_Vocals: Rumble and Frenzy_

_

* * *

_  
We should both paint each other green;  
It's not like anyone knows which of us is which.  
Who is red? Who's blue? You'd think by now at least our Soundwave could tell  
But still we hear the same old arguments.

We should paint each other green.  
It seems we look the same already even though we are not  
And no one even cares about us 'cause we're not standing out  
like hunter-seekers firing lasers racing in the sky.

But does it matter at all?  
We both can kick aft in any fight  
When Autobots try to bring trouble, we can bring the house down on them  
Or just smack them up.

So what to do with this green paint?  
Hey, remember Skywarp's prank on us yesterday?  
Soon he will be green and we'll have a laugh, it's beautiful!  
'Cause revenge is what we like to see.

* * *

_  
A/N: Happy (slightly belated) St. Patrick's Day to all._  



	8. Bad, Bad Megatron

**Bad, Bad Megatron**_  
Music: "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" (c) 1972 Jim Croce_

* * *

Well, they say the toughest planet  
Is a place called Cybertron  
And if you go up there  
You better just beware  
Of a mech named Megatron 

'Cause Megatron is trouble  
You see his altmode is a gun  
And he lays down fire in the name of conquest  
Or sometimes it's just for fun

Yeah, he's bad, bad Megatron  
The baddest mech on all Cybertron  
Badder than Unicron  
And meaner than a Sharkticon

Now Megatron's main army  
Blasted into space one day  
When the 'bots came here, the 'cons were near  
To try to blow them all away  
And from the ice cap of the Arctic  
To up on top of Sherman Dam  
He would take over the Earth, for whatever it's worth  
You know the bad guy had a plan

Yeah, he's bad, bad Megatron  
The baddest mech on all Cybertron  
Badder than Unicron  
And meaner than a Sharkticon

Well, sometime in the summer of  
Year two thousand five  
The Autobots entered into a battle they knew  
They would not all leave alive  
Prime was not afraid to answer  
When he heard that battle call  
And Megatron found the fight of his life there  
"One shall stand, one shall fall"

Yeah, he's bad, bad Megatron  
The baddest mech on all Cybertron  
Badder than Unicron  
And meaner than a Sharkticon

And when Soundwave found his leader  
To carry him back to the sky  
Megatron looked like a scrap heap  
But you should have seen the other guy!

Yeah, he's bad, bad Megatron  
The baddest mech on all Cybertron  
Badder than Unicron  
And meaner than a Sharkticon  
Badder than Unicron  
And meaner than a Sharkticon!

* * *

A/N: I know of at least one Megatron fan who's read and reviewed some of my other filks; I hope this does the Slag-Maker justice in your audios. 


End file.
